Before I continue, a few caveats:
(1) What I'm saying is not an attack on homeschooling. It's some "in-house" observations. All decisions we make can lead to creating an idol of something.
(2) The idol of family is not a problem exclusive to homeschoolers. In some ways, I could just switch around some words and give this talk to Christian school parents or public school parents. If our family went to Peoria Christian School, I'm sure I'd have some observations about the manifestation of idolatry in the hearts of private schoolers. In the coming years, I'm sure my heart will be challenged as my kids attend public school and I'll have another talk or two about that.
(3) Don't read between the lines too much. I'm not trying to launch a veiled attack at anyone. I'm not really a movement homeschooler and so although I'm aware there are homeschooling "camps" (or militias?), I'm not a member of any, nor do I understand all of the differences between them. I may be saying some things that sound like an attack on some camps but, to the best of my knowledge, that would be unintentional. (That being said, maybe the nerd picture is a little harsh...?)
(4) Loving one’s family is biblical. The danger comes when I set my heart’s ultimate affection not upon God but upon the five other individuals who make up my immediate family.
In my talk Friday, I’ll be defining idolatry, briefly looking
at the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1-2, then considering six signs you struggle
with idolizing the family. Here’s a
rough overview of some of the things I plan to say about those six signs.
Six
Signs You Struggle with Idolizing the Family #1: You abuse your God-given parental authority.
Homeschooling parents, as they envision the type of children
they would like to raise, can become confused regarding the nature, extent, and
purpose of their authority. This leads
them to potentially abuse the authority God has given them.
The purpose of parental authority is not to impose our will
upon someone else. As Jesus said
regarding the difference between our natural understanding of authority and
God’s design for authority among believers:
You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great
ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be
your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of
Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for
many” (Matt.
20:25-28).
The purpose of authority in Scripture is to serve. Parents exercise spiritual authority not by
conforming their children into caricatures of themselves but by helping them
know and love the Lord Jesus Christ.This doesn’t mean that biblical parental authority is devoid of decrees and dictums that are to be obeyed. To the contrary, as biblical parental authority is properly exercised, children should be all the more careful to follow their parents' instructions exactly. But the goal of exercising authority is radically different for the believer who wishes to avoid idolatry. The parent is mindful of the biblical restraints placed upon his sphere of authority. There should be a reluctance to go beyond that sphere or impose his will.
Homeschooling parents can struggle with the notion that
their children will act in ways that are contrary to their preferences for
their life. Their idolatrous conception
of what the ideal family looks like may drive them to exercise authority in
realms where it is unwise to do so.
#2: You are motivated not by trust in God
but by fear of man.
God calls us to trust
in Him and believe in His good plan for us.
Making decisions regarding
your children’s schooling because you are fearful of people
is idolatrous.
This does not mean we should treat sinful influences in our children's lives lightly. God
has called you to be mindful of the environment you place your children. If a family decides that the best school for
their child for a period of time is in their home, that is wonderful.
Do not, however, be so fearful of the world’s power that you
believe God is at its mercy. A teacher does not have the power to turn your child into a communist or
vegetarian. God still sits enthroned in
the heavens and laughs at the schemes of the rulers of the earth (Ps. 2:1-4).
#3: You
respond sinfully when your goals for your family are not met.
Our reaction to disappointed dreams reveals what we really
worship (James 4:1-10). When our
goals for our family—however noble—are frustrated, the response of our heart
reveals whether we were worshipping God or an idol.
#4: You
view your children as an end instead of a means.
Hannah desperately longed for a child. But as 1 Samuel 1-2 makes clear, she did
not view her precious child as the end goal.
Even the gift of a child was a means to worship God.
Your children are not the end goal. Your children are yet another means God has
given you to engage in worship of Him.#5: You teach your children to have an unbiblical view of the family.
The way many homeschoolers conceive the
family is not how the Bible would understand family. They rightly love the individuals who live in
their home, but they are tempted to believe that their familial responsibilities
are fulfilled by simply meeting the needs of the nuclear family.
In Exegetical
Fallacies, D. A. Carson addresses “semantic anachronisms.” Carson writes: “This fallacy occurs when a
late use of a word is read back into earlier literature” (33). The way we center our lives around the nuclear family is a
recent cultural phenomenon. When we
encounter the family in Scripture, we are sometimes guilty of the semantic anachronism
of which Carson speaks, assuming that Scripture understands the family the same
way we do in North America. It is important to teach children not to idolize the nuclear family. Our family doesn’t exist simply to meet the needs of the individuals who live under our roof. We seek to honor and care for our grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles and the family of God.
#6: You teach your children to have an unbiblical view of the church.
The unbiblical view family leads to an unbiblical view of
the church. Homeschooling families can become so
consumed with their nuclear family that they don’t have the energy or desire to
engage in ministry in the local church. In some circumstances, families may
even say that homeschooling is their
ministry.
But this attitude is harmful for both the church
and the family. It deprives the church
of the vital spiritual gifts that the members of the family possess. It hurts the family as they fail to experience
the joy of serving others.-----------
These are just some of my initial thoughts about what I plan to share Friday. I reserve the right to make adjustments to this blog throughout the week so feel free to offer insight or suggestions!
